A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas, Nesta's Winter Solstice: Show Up or You're Homeless, Pt 1

0:00 The war is over, but the healing is just beginning. Tune in to part 1 of A Court of Frost and Starlight for cozy night vibes, lingering trauma, and fae who, much like your host, still need a little therapy. After death, destruction, war, and enough emotional damage to keep us in therapy for the foreseeable future, welcome to the aftermath. We're stepping into A Court of Frost and Starlight. The war is over, the feelings are not. Welcome to Paperback Confessions.

0:54 A Court of Frost and Starlight. What a lovely book. It was like a little hug, a little warm hug, wasn't it? It was. It was a little bit of a palate cleanser after the whole war, and it makes me want to move to Velaris. Okay. Damn, I wanted to move there way before this. Gee, there is so much snow in Velaris. It's very cold in the winter in Velaris. Yeah, but if I had a Rhysand or a Cassian, who the fuck cares? Or a Mor. A Mor. There we go. See? Okay. This is book 4 in the series. I gave it a spice rating of 1. Yeah, there, there was like— And that was being generous, I think. Yeah. Yeah. For me, I, I'm, I'm the same. It's like a 1. But like, so this book was like a Hallmark Christmas special where everyone is horny and nobody knows how to communicate. And apparently buying expensive gifts is a substitute for, you know, going to fucking therapy.

2:02 Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think the first time I read the series, I was like, what was the point of that book? Um, reading it again though, Now, you know, having gone through it all and come out the other side, um, I have a new appreciation for it. Even though it was small compared to the rest, it was kind of like our first view of like what like quote-unquote normal life would be like for these characters. Um, and I think there was a lot of backstory provided for some characters that didn't get like enough page time, like more. Mm-hmm. So all in all, pretty cool. It makes me excited. Okay, so we're recording this like a week and a half before the new book comes out on October 26th.

2:51 Um, so it makes me excited for another small book because at first I was not excited. I was like, really, just 400 pages? Okay, it's fine. But now, because I've reread Starlight, I'm like, oh, okay. I'm really excited about it now. Me too, man. Me too. Should we do a bedside recap even though it's such a small book? Absolutely. Give like— yeah, just a little snippet of love. All right, here's my bedside recap. Let's see if I can make it through without Coughing or sneezing.

3:36 Previously in Prythian. Hybern came, Hybern schemed, and Hybern got his ass handed to him. Hybern is dead. Prythian is held together with duct tape and questionable alliances, and Nesta is one inconvenience away from committing a felony. The bat boys are still out here being everybody's favorite bad decisions though. We had betrayals, alliances, heartbreak, and enough emotional damage to qualify for a group therapy discount. Also, the Spring Court is still a dumpster fire. Tamlin remains a walking red flag with excellent hair and absolutely zero coping skills. Welcome to Winter Solstice, where we're swapping battle cries for holiday wine and pretending we're all emotionally stable enough for a family gathering.

4:21 The war may be over, but the baggage has moved in, And like Nesta, it's refusing to pay rent. So throw your shit on a bed, grab a drink, hang up something decorative, and welcome to A Court of Frost and Starlight. That was amazing. Great job. That was baller. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, you're so welcome. You were very well. Very well. I think what this book brought to light for me also is just how much in pain Nesta is. Ooh, I know. And, like, what a little bitch she is. But also the fact that she has some serious fucking PTSD, okay? Yeah. This is definitely, like, a sneak peek into A Court of Silver Flames. You kind of get a little taste of who Nesta is, or what Nesta is, or what she's going through. So we start with Feyre, much like all of the other books, our POV. We start in Feyre's brain, where she's at. It's 2 years after the very first book. So like her, um, going over the Wall into the Spring Court, this is 2 years after that.

5:28 Um, so just separate of who Feyre was in the beginning to who Feyre is now. She's learning how to be the High Lady. And the atmosphere there is, it's wintertime. Everybody seems to be preparing for this holiday and presents and like there's a very festive vibe to it. We get to see a little bit of a sneak peek of Elain also. of her baking and helping cook and kind of prepare for this holiday. So you sort of, in the very beginning, it's very warm and cozy and exactly how my family is in preparing for a holiday. So you get that like vibe. I think the author does an amazing job of bringing you into that setting. Yeah.

6:11 It, when I was reading, like, you know, Elaine baking and things, um, It kind of reminded me of my mom and how she would like be all up in everybody's business, you know, by baking and cleaning and, you know, be on your best behavior. And of course then like the wine came out and, you know, that didn't bode well for a lot of things. The wine does come out in this book. What about you, Latro? Sorry, I was just going through some of the, like, summary things of the whole book because I struggle with stopping at Starlight and starting with Silver Flame because there's so much that happens in between. But I felt like— I feel like the biggest feeling I had from rereading this book so many years later was— it's just all the extra character development that sort of came out of it. Like, you just have more of an understanding of where people are, where characters are. And then, yeah, it just gets into that. And I like that. And I like— My favorite part is— When— and it's not my favorite part, but it's probably the most emotional part. And we'll— you're gonna take us on that drive anyways. But

7:44 when Nesta chucks the ring— or no, Cassian chucks the ring and Nesta says, uh-uh, it's not happening, Captain. Yeah, that's probably my favorite part because it's like, dude, you're such a bitch. But like, you're a bitch because you're going through some shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know? And we see a lot of shit that she's going— well, so we see her just being a bitch in this book. Yeah. We don't see her— The why. Yeah. So we just see her being a bitch. And you just want to hug and kiss Cassian and just be like, buddy, it's okay. It's okay.

8:27 I really fell in love with Cassian in this book, though. And also just like the pure love that, uh, Rhysand has for Feyre. Like, they— it's just a— it's— I, I don't know, it was wholesome after all the shit that went down. It was just wholesome for me. And then I saw a whole nother side of Mor and Amren also. So I did like the Mor and Amren extras. Yes, I need more of Mor and Amren. Mm-hmm. I agree. I would love— Girl. I would love a book about Mor. Speaking of character development, Feyre, since that's where we start with everything, let's talk about, in my opinion, some of the development we got to see with her, and then we'll go through all the characters. But with Feyre, what I noticed to be different in this go-around is that compared to who she was after she was made by the Seven courts. When she was with Tamlin, we saw her struggling with, like, all her powers and sort of coming into herself and figuring out who she was. And I feel like in this book, you see her actually owning it. Like, now she knows who she is. She's embracing, she's identifying as being part of all of these 7 courts. And so she's no longer awkward and uncomfortable. She's very much, like, settling into her skin in this book. In addition to being Rhysand's mate, like learning what it's like to be his wife, to be this queen or high lady, to care

9:59 about her court. And I thought that that was pretty significant, I would say. Yeah. Because I feel like it was, at least for me, the first time you hear her being confident and self-assured is in A Court of Frost and Starlight. What do you guys think? Oh, for sure. And I think also in this book, like, we get to see Feyre, uh, really dive into her artsy side and giving back side. Yeah. And yeah, like, that, like, lit my heart up because, like, she recognized in herself that that's what she wanted to do. She wanted to give back and she wanted to be, like, really kind high lady and She really feels for all the people that live in Valoris. And she wanted to be a protector, and that's what I love about her. Yeah.

10:53 I think going off of that also, some of my fav— well, me checking myself, were they really my favorite scenes? Kind of. Some of my favorite little tiny little threads goes to what you're saying, is when she's walking in the town and she sees she can still see that it's rebuilding. And her walking through— what is it called? The Rainbow Road or Rainbow— It's the Rainbow. Yeah, it's just called the Rainbow. One of my favorite things is, and I can't remember the character's name, that, um, was the person that, uh, Feyre protected when they were attacked in Velaris. It's that character who says, hey, I see you. I remember you. I remember what you did for us. And I loved that Feyre doesn't shy away from it in this book. She, like, to your point, G, is trying to heal the city through art. And so she's learning to embrace that side of herself again and paint and, you know, be the artist that she is. Yeah. And, like, really, like, focusing on, like, the kids that, like, lost their parents and bringing in community. And I— that's what I, I loved about that, is that she was like dealing with, with her own guilt, a little bit of shame, but she wanted to be able to give back. And so— What guilt and shame was she dealing with? The guilt from, you know, like her losing her father and, you know,

12:26 the shit that Tamlin put her through and not able to face her sister, right? She was— she's still carrying around some of that, like, oh, from like, it's her fault that, that they were made and they're— Yeah, that they were made. And like, you know, Elaine is still kind of being Elaine, and Nesta— Nesta's clearly like, check the fuck out. Yeah, and we'll, we'll hop into those guys because I have a lot to say. Uh, something that I noticed to be a stark difference this go-around and when she was with Tamlin is he would, like, shut her out. Remember when she would go with Lucien to try to help rebuild the city and people were like, no, no, no, we don't need your help, we're fine. And she never had the opportunity to dive in.

13:11 And this go-round, she is actively participating in being, like, a pretty important piece to this town's recovery. Like what you're saying, G, like having these— Sure. Giving a place for kids to express what they're feeling through art. Completely different than Spring Court. Yeah. And the whole first couple whatevers of the holiday in the book, it talks about how she's just been working tirelessly with all of these charities and volunteer situations throughout the whole community. And it's not just that one art space that she finds and that she turns into. a thing for the kids and for, you know, therapy things.

13:59 Um, but she— like, they literally had to tell her, no, stop, go home and celebrate. We've got the kids, we've got the families that don't— that got all their stuff ruined in this war. So yeah, it's like they're caring for her as much as she's caring for them instead of excluding her. Like, It's a reciprocal relationship. Yeah. Look, she was able to turn her pain into purpose. Yeah. And it, like, that warmed my heart. Like, she was able to find this one thing that really made her heart sing. Yeah. I was really happy for her in this book because it's like they saw her. They were taking care of each other, and she's not just like this trophy. So that made me really, really happy.

14:51 Um, one of my favorite— and it hit hard, bro— one of my favorite Feyre scenes is when she and Elain go shopping for gifts and she walks into that weaver's cottage. Oh no! Oh girl, this shit hit me so hard. Listeners, bro. Yeah, so her and Elain are shopping for gifts And they go into this weaver's cottage, and hung on the wall is this tapestry. And it is the absence of color. It is the darkest dark you've ever seen, to the point where you can't recreate it. Like, it is just absence of everything. And Feyre asks the weaver about this artwork, and the weaver explains to her that the black fabric is what she calls the void. Mm-hmm. And the weaver explains that she had lost her husband, and this feeling of that void, that emptiness, is what created that darkest of dark. And so Feyre, listening to this weaver's story, is so all-consumed and looking at the color, and it's all lining up for Feyre because Feyre lost a lot herself too, so she can really relate to what Mm-hmm. And I think, um, MVP to Elayne in this scene, but I think in that moment, Feyre is almost remembering what it's like to lose herself in the Void and focusing on that so much that Elayne is the one that

16:21 notices in that same tapestry, there is a silver thread. And so, Elayne asks the Weaver, well, tell me about the silver thread. Like, what's that? And this is the shit, bro. The Weaver says, the silver thread is what I call hope, because it's what developed after the Void. And so she created that. And I loved that Elayne noticed it and shook Farah out of that moment to focus on hope. Fucking kudos to the— like, when I think about just, like, Sarah J. Maas as a human being, I'm like, how do you write something so profound that it resonates outside of, like, the fae realm and the Rhysand and the Feyre and all these characters to something that as a human being, you know exactly? Well, maybe some of us don't know exactly what it's like, but I know exactly what that's like.

17:20 Yeah, there are many, many, many people that do. And I think that's why so many people vibe with these. books is because she really does that. She makes it relatable to literally anybody who will open themselves up to being vulnerable for just a moment. Yeah. Yeah. And Farrah purchases the artwork. She hangs it up in that studio in the rainbow town, Rainbow Road. Rainbow Road. Listen, I, I think that we would like— We're about to go Mario Kart up in here, y'all. We would love Rainbow Road. Like, I could see— like, I, I think that would be kind of cool. Oh yeah, no, that's where, that's where this Mutt Mates hang for show.

18:09 I like rainbow. Like, you know what it reminds me of? Uh, if you've ever been to Corning during the holidays, and it's all very decorated and like all the glass shops. Small town. Yeah. I love that scene, dude. Like, and I don't think I appreciated it the first time I read that book. And now rereading it with like a different, you know, lens, different perspective. The author, to your point, Nacho, fucking captures these moments that I can just truly, truly, truly appreciate. And, and that scene specifically, I do think speaks to Feyre's development and growth. and how she is becoming her own. Um, and I also think it kind of segues into another thing that I noticed to be a stark difference. I mean, I know there's plenty of stark differences between her relationship with Rhysand and her relationship with Tamlin, but her and Rhysand don't hide the fact that they're struggling with, with things. Yeah, the arguing out in the middle of the street, like, dude, Yeah, yeah. Also like a little bit cringy about one another. I mean, but they are sharing that with each other and not hiding it from one another and not pretending like it doesn't exist. And I do appreciate that. Like, I appreciate that they have— it kind of goes to what you were saying, G. It's like they have such a pure, happy, healthy relationship, I think.

19:39 Oh, what is so funny? I see Narwhal's face. 100%. And like, for me, like, when I read the books, it's, it's hard. And I think the reason it's hard is because I read it through 3 lenses, right? I read it through my lesbian lens, I read it through my mental health advocate lens, and then I read it through the fucked up T-Rex lens, okay? Where like the chaos comes out. So I think that's why it's a little bit harder for me to get through the books and read them faster, because I'll read a passage and I'll have to go back and like reread it again. And thank God for Kindle, man. I have so many freaking fucking bookmarks, man.

20:23 Like, from a mental healthy standpoint, like this book, like it helped my heart heal a little bit. Mm-hmm. It also had some like super cringy moments. Um, like the whole, like, uh, winter— the night of winter solstice. I loved it though. I fucking— well, here, I'm also the type of person that watches Hallmark Christmas movies every year. Yeah. Because they're so fucking bad, but they're so good. So because it was so saccharine, it was cringy for you? It— well, it was— there were— it was sweet, but there were also some really hard moments in there. Tell me. Well, when I think of, like, Okay, I'm gonna take it from the point of Nesta because in certain points in my life, I was the Nestas of this world. Okay?

21:09 Okay. Okay. But I can remember like going to like a holiday party and just not wanting to fucking be there. Okay? Like, you told me I had to show up, but like, I don't want to fucking participate. I don't want to be around anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. And like, all you other fuckers are like all happy and joyful, and I'm like, I just want to go the fuck home. Go to bed and get under my covers. Get on my covers. I don't want to fucking talk to any of you guys. But you know, the problem for Nesta, and we see it coming out in bits and pieces in this book, she's like seriously like fucked up. She has some bad PTSD that she's not dealing with. And like, we've, we've all seen that in our life, right? Like PTSD is like fucked up.

22:00 No, in this book, we just see her being a raging bitch. Raging bitch. Raging bitch. Raging bitch. Like, she is not a nice lady. When I read it the first time, I just saw her as ungrateful and like a spoiled little brat. Yep. Yeah. And one of the scenes that comes to mind is Rhysand and Feyre track Nesta down at a bar. And Rhysand waits outside. Feyre goes inside. 'Cause I think this also lines up to, like, I felt like so much of the book, Feyre is trying to incorporate her sisters into this family. Yeah. And so she tracks Nesta down to a bar, goes in there, they exchange words. But the point of that is that Nesta's just, like, fucking hammering them back.

22:50 She's, like, gambling away with strangers. Her sister walks in and she just treats her like, what the fuck are you doing here, Feyre? Like, why are you even here? Yeah. Like, she is just pushing them away so hard. And all she wants to do is— I think we get that little sneak peek— is get drunk and not be associated with Feyre, with Rhysand, with anybody. She wants to be completely isolated on her own little island, self-medicating, I would say. And just being numb, right? Because she doesn't want to deal with what really is the true issue. And you know, God, man, I love Feyre. She's the youngest of the 3 of them and just really trying to bring everybody back together. But I do love the chosen family, and I think that poor Nesta, even though she was a bitch, she just did not want to be involved. She didn't want to be a part of this chosen family. No, she didn't want to be part of any of it because she didn't— No. No, I don't— I totally vibe with all of Nesta's, like, uh, I really don't want to be part of anything that you have to do with any of this. Can you please just leave me alone? Let me do my thing. And, uh, I don't want to do it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, so push it away, push it away, push it away, push it away. I feel like kind of everybody's had those moments in their life where they're just sort

24:23 of like, no, this is cringy, get the fuck away from me. Yeah, I want to know, but I do have a question for you guys. So like, how can a family make room for someone who can't celebrate this year? Like, how, how would— in like real life, how would you, would you handle that? Why couldn't they celebrate? Are they dead or they're depressed? Like mentally checked out. You let them know that you're there to listen. So I don't, I don't know that I would force them to partake. I think I would just make an effort to be there for them. Yeah, I think that's what made me mad because they forced her to partake. Yeah. Yeah. The, the, the, if you don't show up, you know, we're cutting you off. Mm-hmm. Like, I get it, but that's, that's not gonna really endear somebody to you when somebody's that far out there, you know? And I think your question for me is answered by, uh, by being available, letting the person know that there's space for them if they want, but also that, you know, if they can't come to the big thing, like, can we, can we go have coffee?

25:44 Yeah. Can I come bring snacks to your house? Maybe, maybe you don't want to let me into your house. Maybe we can have snacks in the car. Like, finding out where this person is willing to meet you and then doing that, I think small things and gestures to let the person know that you're there and available is important. But to like, uh, give them a choice between, you know, show up or you get nothing, I think— Yeah. Or you're homeless. Show up or you have no house. Yeah. That's wrong. And so extreme. And what I, what I loved about the book is it reminded me of things that we do here in real life, right? Like going back to the tapestry, right? Remembering there's always that silver lining, there's always that hope. Um, reminding us that sometimes people aren't going to meet us halfway.

26:48 Yeah, sometimes you have to do the extra. You have to do the extra. Also reminded me that, you know, we can find joy in our pain. Mm-hmm. Yeah. During that scene, I'm— now I'm toying with this thought. When Farrah essentially tells her, come or you're homeless. Yeah. Before she delivers that wonderful line, she doesn't really say that, but before she delivers that, Do you think that was like— okay, in my opinion, Nesta has a way of cutting with her words, right? Like, she hits the low blows. Oh, yeah. In, like, a genius level. God, the brain in the author. Oh, my God. She's genius. And it's something that, like, I would have to really think hard on, like, how could I hurt this person? And Nesta just does it in a second. Like, she fucking— bullseye hits all the time. So, before Feyre says, if you don't come, you're not going to get rent, Feyre actually is trying to persuade her to come. Yeah. And Feyre says to her, you know, Dad would want you there.

28:03 And having read A Court of Silver Flames, that is a trigger that I have marked for Nesta. Don't talk to her about her dad. Yep. And so, I'm curious if, because Farrah hits that trigger, the way Nessa reacts, Farrah saying, come or you don't get rent, I wonder if that's Farrah's way of cutting with words versus— I think that's Farrah's way of trying to control a situation that she has no control over. You can't control that situation. You just can't. You have to let the other person, like— find their way. You can't do it for somebody else. You have to let them find their way and try to be— which is hard— just try to be available. So do you think that Feyre would have given her that essential ultimatum regardless of how— No, I think, I think, um, Nesta's reaction to the comment about the dad sent Farrah over the edge because Farrah's got no fucking clue about what's going on with Nesta. She thinks she's just being a spoiled rotten brat. I mean, I did too. Right. Well, yeah. I mean, I feel like we all did, right? You kind of knew something was going on, but we were like, but really though, bro? Come on. Well, so the other thing with this book is some of the scenes between Feyre and Rhysand, right? Like,

29:36 they were very intimate moments. And, you know, um, I think Rhysand is just a man-child, okay? Because, like— But their love is so pure, you said, Dee. It is pure, but the dude thinks with his dick, all right? Literally. Like, literally. I think with my dick. Like, come on. We all do. When it's that good. What else matters? I, you know, I'm just trying to think of like, during like those intimate scenes and like he was like daydreaming about their future child because like this is when they decide that they— Wait, wait, wait, you are, you are flying. Yeah, you're in like silver flames action, bro.

30:20 Wait, hold on, hold on. Before we dive into that, can we finish, uh, Nesta's character development? So in that whole bullshit with Feyre and Nesta, and their dynamic and forcing her to come. Feyre finds out that Nesta and Amren have a pretty close relationship. So while Nesta's sort of isolating herself from everybody, she seems to still keep in contact with Amren. I think that makes Feyre jealous a little bit because— jealous of Amren and jealous of Nesta because why can they be friends together, but neither one of them can really, like, be friendly with me? Like, what's, what's the problem with me?

31:02 And my, um, my theory, and I'm curious to get your thoughts, is Nesta remains close with Amren because from the beginning Amren noticed that there was something in Nesta that was alike, was just like her. And so with Nesta isolating herself, I feel like There's still like that one thread where she's choosing to remain in contact with something that she can relate to, you know? Like, this person may understand what I'm going through. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot, that, that she holds on to. Okay, because that— I really kind of really do like that because now I'm thinking forward. But, um, I think Amren is the only one that's not trying to control Nesta. I think Amren is just there to say, let me show you things. Let me teach you things.

31:55 Let me pour into your cup. And everybody else is just saying, no, no, no, no, no. You need to be this other cup. Yeah. This cup we don't want. Your whole vessel is fucked, and you need to be different than what you are. And Amren's the only one who's, at this point, saying, Let me give to you. Let me feed you emotionally, or, like, in a friendship sort of way, right? Yeah. But I really like how you said that Amren is the one string, the one string of hope that Nesta lets herself have.

32:36 And I say that knowing what comes in Silver Flames, but for this, book specifically, she is the one person that she sort of has. Yeah. That's willing to meet her where she's at. And Amren holds that friendship pretty close to chest because I think Feyre tries to get information from Amren. Oh, yes. Feyre's a little bitch like that. And Amren's like, Amren's like, go fuck yourself. I'm not telling you shit. Exactly. Like, come on, Feyre. Like, I get it. You're sweet and innocent and everybody loves you and all the things. And you got the big dick dude, and you guys are so happy, and blah blah blah, right? But also, like, come on, you can't just be asking people to get in the mid— like, okay, if my sister came to you, and she's gonna hear this, she's gonna be so like, what the fuck? If my sister came to one of you two and was like, uh, you know, tell me about this person. And, and like the surface things I feel like would be okay, but like, uh, some of the things that I've shared with you are not some things that I would want shared with my sister.

34:01 Yeah. Yeah. And vice versa, like shit we share with our family I want to share with my friends, right? Yeah. And you feel like you want to be helpful and you want to, like, if you see this person is in some sort of stress, whatever stress situation, you want to be helpful. But also, like, I've confided in you, and if you say something to my sister that I've asked you to, or I've trusted you to keep, then you've completely ruined that trust, that relationship. Well, I mean, maybe not completely, but like, you've done some damage. Because I'm like, I'm like that person, like— Well, that's exactly it, right? Like, she confides in Amren, and Amren respects that, and Amren keeps that confidence. But there's something else about Amren and Nesta.