The Finish Line by Kate Stewart, The Frenchman Gets Domesticated, Pt 1

0:00 Welcome to Paperback Confessions. Fair warning, Finish line by Kate Stewart was way too good for one episode. You are listening to part one, where we are diving into the drama, the heartbreak, and all of the delicious chaos. Let's confess. Okay, put the glasses on. We're being serious now. Okay, okay. What happens when the person you've spent your life trying to protect is the one who finally saves you? Today, we're crossing the finish line with Cecilia and Tobias. I had to breathe a story about redemption, second chances, and a love that refused to stay lost.

0:41 Welcome back to Paperback Confessions, bitch. All right, ladies, I'm one of your hosts, Dirty Skittles. I'm here with T.

1:26 Rex and Nacho. Nacho. Nacho. Business. Not. Yeah, mind your own business because my business is not your business. I'm not your mom. I'm not your daddy. None of this is your business. Oh. Anyways, sorry. Sorry I got sidetracked. You started every time. I did. Well, we're here. We're here to talk about the very last book in the Raven Hood trilogy. It is called the Finish Line. This book is also a contemporary dark romance. Talks a lot about enemies to lovers, but now the enemies are trying to be lovers and kind of. Kind of.

2:08 I have here a note. This was the first, only book in this trilogy that's written from a dual person perspective. A lot of it's Tobias and the rest is Cecilia, and I thought that was pretty cool. Love this author. I am going to go back and read some more of her books, but I needed to get the finish line out of my soul first, so I had to have a couple palate cleansers. But, yeah, I've really enjoyed reading this series. I can see why it was a gateway series for you because it's a emotional roller coaster of like, just an emotional roller coaster. It's crazy.

2:53 Yeah, My Gateway. Three way. The Gateway. Yeah. Yeah, it. I'm happy to hear you say that because I, you know, when you read a book and you. It's nostalgic. I remember loving it in the time. You never know if other people are going to love it. They're going to be like, oh, God, I got to get through this. You know what I mean? Right. But then context is important, right? Like my. My book I read in the 90s, I was 15 years old. Right. My Gateway book that I just. I looked up again and it's apparently a whole series. Didn't know that, so. But this one was like. You were very clear about, like, this is my gateway. This is the first one that I read. And I think that kind of context is helpful to other people, especially people who like reading smut. Because, you know, if you're. If you're willing to admit that this is your gateway three way book to another human, and they're like, what's the title? We have friends.

4:01 You have friends. You know, people. I. I like the book, too. I like the whole series, but this wasn't my gateway. My gateway was Fourth Wing. But then, like, I got into this book and I couldn't stop. And second book, I was just pissed off the entire time I was reading it. Pissed off and mad and. And a little sad. And then I got to book three, and I was like, somebody grew a set of balls. I love it. What would you have done had you picked up this series before 4th Wing? I probably would have kept reading it because, well, I told you, sex is sex. All right, winner was very long here.

4:42 I needed something to do. Yes, let's get into the details because I do want to talk about. I'm afraid to say it. I feel like it might be my favorite sex scene out of all three books. Surprisingly happens in the finish line, which is weird, right? So, like, I want to get to that. I don't see why it's weird. Let's jump right in. I think maybe there's like, that part of me that's like. You would think the three way on the lake would trump all three, but for me, the sex scene and finish line trumps the three way. So let's. Let's talk about it. I feel like. Let's do like a quick little recap. The gin.

5:23 Quick recap. In Flock, Cecilia basically intros herself into this world of Raven Hood, right? She meets two main guys. Sean, she's 19 years old, 19, important. And that's just like her first intro into this town to this, I don't know, Brotherhood to these two main guys. I feel like in Flock, she has a lot of growth, self discovery. Who is she? Does she like three ways, right? Is she okay being sexually expressive? Like, she's kind of grappling a lot with, like, who am I? An exodus. I feel like at that point she sort of figured out who she is, except that her whole world yet again, is starting over, right? Like the Brotherhood, the two men that she fell in love with, that gets sort of stripped away. And then she's meeting her enemy, Tobias, and then rediscovering her feelings and emotions towards this person who stripped away the life that she thought she wanted and loved.

6:33 So she's rediscovering herself. Then there's loss. We all lose Dominic in that series, which is really sad. Flip that. You were just like, we all lost Dom. We did. Yes, we lost Domino. Dumb did. I was so sad. I'm still. I think after all these years, I'm still just as torn up about it. I'm still grieving that loss. That was such a hard character to say goodbye to. And then here we are into the finish line, which, on the topic of Dom, I feel like he's very present in this book, even though physically he's not there and he's not making moves and calls. They're both sort of grieving that loss, especially Tobias. So in the finish line, which is where we are now, we pick up with Tobias seeking out Cecilia, right? In Exodus, the second book, they part ways. And she goes to college. Yeah, she goes to college. She moves to, I think, like, Virginia or some shit. Like, she moves. She's. She's. She's in a different state.

7:42 And Tobias now has to figure out, fuck, I really love this woman. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back into her heart, right? Like, I. He now knows that's his woman. He's willing to, in essence, sort of put her in danger as being a part of his life. But he wants to be a part of hers, I think more so than anything else. And finish line, my opinion is that she's pretty independent now, right? Like, she's like, I'm starting a new life here. I think she, like, starts a bakery. Like, she's. She's making moves to just. Diner. Yep, yep, a diner. Thank you. So she's like, I'm establishing who I am as a woman. If you want to be a part of this, Tobias, I have conditions. She sets her boundaries. You have to tell me the truth. You have to be honest.

8:33 You. She's making that motherfucker grovel his way back into her heart. Oh, I see Nacho thinking, I don't know that. Like, I. Yes, gravel. Okay, I hear you. But I also see, like, no, these are the boundaries, and I'm gonna stick to them. And if you don't like it, you can eat ass somewhere else. And he does. No, I'm just kidding. I mean, damn. But it doesn't. I don't. I don't. You don't see it as gring, right? I don't see as a groveling. I see it as, no, homie. You up. We had great rage sex in the other books, but that's not where I'm at I'm not interested.

9:22 And if you want some of this puss, puss, you got to handle your business the way I want you to. And you bring up a good point, because in this book, she withholds sex. She's like, hey, we're not immediately wetting the whistle. That's what. She's not immediately getting your dick wet. She's like, if you want that, we need to fix all the other stuff. Like, we need to have a solid foundation before we start getting fancy with ourselves. Well, and that's why, like I said, that, you know, she finally found a set of balls, and she, she's not leading with emotions. She put up these serious boundaries, and it's like, either follow my rules or you're not getting any. Like, here's some lube in your hand and go take care of it. But you're not touching me. And for me, that was like, kind of like her victory lap because of all the years of her getting lied to and, you know, all that other she had to go through. So I, I, I loved seeing her as, like, kind of villain, kind of badass all at the same time. Yeah, I did, too. But as a smutty book reader, I was like, yo, how long is it going to be? How long until we get to what I'm here for? I mean, I loved it, but to be, to be honest, I do like that she made him work for it. She stuck to her

10:54 guns. I was like, that is hot. That is hot. You know what you want. You're not gonna, like, you know, quibble over dumb. You know, you can be here, but I'm still gonna live my life. It's like that whole I said this to some, a partner of mine one time, and it turned into a huge thing. But I don't need you. I don't need you. I want you. And when that want stops. Bye. Bye. Bye, Felicia. That's right. Bye, Shashisha. Get the out. So, yeah, I get. I just as much as I hate it, I didn't hate her in the first one, but I love her in this one. Yeah. She's unapologetically like, this is my life.

11:50 Knowing that she still has feelings for him, knowing that she still loves him, knowing that he's got the biggest, beautiful, most beautiful dick on the planet. For her, it's all her spots, right? Scratches those deep pitches. Itchy. Itchy. So, speaking of. No, I'm just kidding. Enter ad ready thing. Why the vibrating chair again? For our listeners, T. Rex has a vibrating office chair. She Swears it's just for being her back. Just her back. But her back location is in a different spot than most. Nice.

12:38 Nice. You know what? At least now when I get up, I'm not handicapped. Okay. 62 is not the best. Oh, look. And now we have our controller. We're just going to turn it back on the glass. I'm just kidding. I do think that that speaks to her growth. Right? Cecilia in book one versus Cecilia in the finish line. Would we all agree that she is a woman in the finish line? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Whoa, man. Man. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, this is my. You want to be a part of it? Get it? Come correct is what she tells Tobias and I. Correct. Come correct.

13:28 Oh, not C u m. I got. Now, listen, we were talking about when your brain squirrels, you gotta say squirrel. That was a big squirrel. Would you say, was it come correct? Like, come at me correct? Nobody's ever heard that for come correct. I did. Now I learned a new word. Did. Did. Did Mama Skittles teach you that word? Maybe she's about to. I do like, though, part of me. Okay. I think I've learned a lot about myself in this book. I like Men in power. I love that Tobias was, like, suits and, like, badass. So when I first started reading Finish Line, and he shows up to the small town, not wearing suits, sort of trying to fit in with, like, Wrangler jeans and, like, a T shirt or. I struggled with it at first, rereading the book. I loved it. I love that Tobias had to become, like, domesticated. He was really trying to put his whole being into. That's not me anymore. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't see it like that. But you're right. He had to put up a different perspective on, like, what he was seeking and the reasons he was seeking it. Not just to protect her, but to kind of, like, refind himself. Also, because by that third book, some shit had gone down with, like, Antoine and, you know, a bunch of other people. So he, you know, number one, he was scared as, right? He thought for sure everything he'd worked for his entire life was now going to go up

15:01 in flames. The woman that he loved had, like, escaped and took him months to find her. Right? And even though all the. All the ravens were out there looking for and protecting her, only one knew where she was. Yeah. Who was it? Sean. Sean. It was shot because it was like he never lost tabs on his woman. He knew exactly where she was always. Because didn't he put a tracker in the Car. Yeah. And that's how they were able to locate her. And. And the reason why I think that's such a pivotal moment is because Tobias had to ask Sean, do you know where she is? He goes, sure do. I've known the whole time, Jack. The whole time. Yeah. So it was just such, in my opinion, like, such a boss ass move for Sean because Tobias thought he was on, like, on top of it all, right? Like, Cecilia is his woman, but he lost her. And Sean never let go. So he was like, yeah, here she is, making sure she's safe.

16:05 She had a guardian angel, right? Like, knowing, okay, so knowing that, but also knowing that he was really, really in love with the woman that he was married to and they were having kids. That was like, sexy. So sexy, right? Like, you can still care for people, but you still know who you go home to. You still know where your bread is buttered, right? Like, you still know who you love. And while you loved this person before, that's not who you love like that now. And they. They became, like, the best of friends. And. And like you said, it was really beautiful. And you know, how much he. He loved his wife and how much he loved his kids. Right? We got to see a grown up version of Granola Head. And that.

16:55 That made me happy. Is that, like, after all these years, you know, he found his way. Yeah. But he never truly let his first love move on. But they became really, really good friends. Yeah, he. He for sure respected her and loved her in a way that he wouldn't. She was never going to be alone. You know, he may not be in her bed, but she would never be alone. He was always watching out for her. And I loved that because that's. I feel like, in a way, that was always their relationship. Like, he. He took her into his world, but he always, I guess, wanted to protect her that way. And so he never. He never stopped. And I thought that was. I was like, oh, okay, Shawn. So sweet. Mm. I think Sean love that for him. I think.

17:43 I think some of the funnier scenes in the book where Dom was, or not Dom, but Tobias was trying to be, like, all domesticated, right? And, like, cooking in the kitchen. And then he got, like, super fucked up on gummies and. And gin and like, totally destroyed the kitchen. But just how he. How he tried so hard to be domesticated and failed horribly. Like, the first three times Sean, I think, would text him, like, hey, how's it going? And the two of them would have this back and forth about, like, hey, you've Got to be there. Let her adjust. Like, Sean's giving Tobias advice on what it's like to be a different version of. Of what a woman needs.

18:25 Right? Like, let her adjust. She'll adjust. Give her time and, like, very. Oh, I don't know the word that I'm looking for, but I was just like, that shit's fucking hot. Okay, Sean, let's go to the waterfall, and I'll eat your granola. Fine. So I love that I. I do love that Tobias was willing to seek help, too. Like, I. Like, there was. There's parts in the book where he had cashiers. Like, he would go to the same cashier at the stores and ask them. Oh, yeah. For advice. I thought that was really cute. Like, he was. He was trying so hard to learn how to be a man in a different way so that he can win Cecilia back. And I thought that was really sweet. I also thought what was really sweet is when he went to the cafe and was, like, busting tables, and he was like, I'm here, my wranglers, pulling up my sleeves. Like, let's do this. And the old lady with her son and the whole, like, talking French and everything. And I have to go back and. And read that section again, because I kind of want to in that. In one of the sections.

19:30 They didn't translate it to English, so I need to go and look that up. Oh, no, the audio. I think the audio is. If you can't find it, go to the audio version. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Like, no questions asked. Cecilia didn't have to ask for help. Dom jumps in. He's like, I got you. Like, whatever you need, I'm here. I. I love it. Because he knew she wasn't gonna ask him for help. She just wasn't. It was in my brain. She just wasn't gonna ask him for help. You're just gonna be there. You're gonna be a pain in my ass. That's fine. Go ahead. Be a pain in my ass. But. Mm. I'm not gonna tell you now. I'm gonna let you work for it. Yeah. And he did. He said. He sure did. He said, say less. So they have this sort of dynamic throughout the finish line, at least the first half of the book, where he's trying to be, you know, the man that she needs. It's a little bit foreign to him, but he's willing to put in the work and. And learn. And I think in doing so, he learns a lot about himself and what he values. We do a lot of, like, going back for him, too. A lot of, like, his history and his growing up and how, like, intertwined it is.

20:37 Because we're going full spoilers, right? So, like, how her mom and. And him, like, met up when he was little and Dom. And, like, my brain just kept melting and melting and melting. This. This author, emotional roller coaster. Thank you, ma'. Am. Yeah, there was, like, threads throughout. Everywhere. Everywhere. Yeah. So to speak, on that scene that Nacho just mentioned. It's like, Tobias. Okay, so Dom. They're kids. I don't remember how old they are, but Dom is home from school sick, so Tobias needs to go to the pharmacy to get him medicine.

21:17 So these are children in the pharmacy. He meets a woman who. Who helps him. I don't remember if she pays for the medicine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. So he was. She was driving down the road and saw. Saw Tobias walking down the street, and it was, like, hot, and it was long drive, and she's like, hey, do you. Do you want to ride? So she drove him to the drugstore, and then. And she's, like, a thousand months pregnant. Yeah, she's. And so she's like, yeah, what's Cecilia, right? She was gonna name her something weird, like. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't want to upset anybody's name that wasn't like. Yeah. But. Yeah. So she picks him up, and there's this whole thing between the two of them where they go to the drugstore, and he needs Tylenol. He's only got 20 bucks because that's what he was able to squirrel away because they were living with the aunt, and the ant's a hot mess. So he's only got 20 bucks, and he needs to get the medicine, the Tylenol, because he's got chickenpox or something like that. Yeah.

22:25 And then she's like, well, what else do you need? And so she gets them, like, you know, cans of soups and cats and raviolis. And then he's, like, eyeing the books. And I was like, well, we don't have any books. And so she's like, here. And just, like, in my brain, she, like, just table swipes stuff into the car, anything that he, like, even a little bit looks at. Right. And little cars for baby Dom. Yeah. So there's this whole thing, and, like, they. He says in the book, he. That it lasts for. It lasts them for months. It lasts them from the food that she bought last them for months.

23:07 And. And so that was, like, a core memory for him. And then he. He. To add to that he like, mentions how, like, throughout their life, like, boxes of things would show up, like clothes and. And whatever they would need for whatever age they were. Yeah, like this. This mystery package. And he always. I think I. I think he believed it was like, friends of the family or like the town or something like that, but he never. People that were in that group that the parents were part of. Yeah, but it was Cecilia's mom the whole time. And it ties back to her feeling guilty for the parents dying and wanting to take care of them without necessarily outing herself to a kid. Like, it's my fault. So she carries that on.

23:48 She's. She's trying her hardest to take care of these two boys from a distance because of what had happened in the past. And she does so to, like, the detriment of her and Cecilia growing up too. You find out at the end of the book. Well, closer to the end of the book, that it was really to the detriment. And. And Cecilia grows up thinking like, her mom's just a wastro when it comes to money, when her mom was really just putting everything that she could into those boxes to send to those boys out of whatever her feelings were. And. And so Cecilia, who's. I can't even remember why she was so pissed at her mom in the first place. And in finish line. Yeah. I think it's because she knew her mom was a part of the death of. Oh, yeah, Dom's family. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Ye. Yeah, you're right. Because she got like. Did the mom write her a letter or something? I forget.

24:44 A letter to dad. And she read the letter to dad, and then she went and confronted her mom. Right. And then her and her mom didn't talk for a whole lot of months. But like, one of the funniest scenes in the book is when mom and. What's the dude named Tim or whatever or something. Or Timothy. I don't know. From book one. Yeah. They roll up in like a RV and Winnebago and it was all like, right around, like, the sexy time in the book. Well, they were gonna. Yeah, they were gonna. And then interrupted. I was like, God damn it. More chapters. Yeah, they show up. They're like, hey, Cecilia, remember that we were gonna go camping or something? And she's trying to shoo away her mom because, you know, Tobias at that point knows that the mom is responsible for the parents death. And so she's trying to prevent him from being in an uncomfortable situation, like, prevent Tobias from having to deal with that. And he's like, no, it's good. I'm good. I'm here.

25:43 We're gonna have to do this. Let's do it now. And he was very respectful. Yeah. And. And the thing is, it's like he already knew. He knew that, you know, it wasn't. It was her mom and not her dad that started the fire. But, you know, that whole, like, push me, pull me kind of thing, I felt that angst in the house. It was horrible. Okay, as shitty as this sounds, it. It reminds me of an old girlfriend I was with. The woman I was with before I. I got with my wife, and she was going back to men, and it was this whole push me, pull me kind of thing. And I don't. I do not do well in those situations. Okay? You either want me or you don't want me. You know what? I'm not around. And.

26:30 And if it happened now in my age, listen, you're dead to me. I'm done. Are you. Are you saying that that's how Tobias. Like, are you imagining that's how he felt? The push me pull me, or the push to push me pull me? Yeah, like, you want me, you don't want me. You want me. You don't want me. I'm giving you everything I have, and I struggle with just desserts. Yeah, just desserts. Not like, you know, it should be tit for tat in any kind of relationship like that. But you. Sorry. I love it. This is tasty cakes coming back at us. Oh, no. I will never live that down. And I say it all the time, too, for the most dumb things.

27:16 Oh, no. Oh, no. I agree. That push me, pull me. It was. This is so weird, because I could understand Cecilia in this book more than I could in the other two, but I. I felt so bad for Tobias. I felt so bad for him because he was trying everything, and that pushed me. Pull me was up. His, like, well, being like. Oh, yeah, yeah, he did get up. Yeah, a couple. That whole drunk night. That whole drunk night when he destroyed the kitchen thing, he. That was, like, screaming PTSD to me. Like a. I was like, I lived through some crazy like that. I don't like it. So, like, yet again, thank you, ma'. Am. Which actually, that scene, didn't he. I think it happened or it gets triggered. So he was like, we're gonna. I don't remember if Sean gave him the advice, but he's like, we're gonna do a date night. I'm gonna cook us dinner. I'm gonna recreate, like, the fireflies in the backyard, whatever. But I think at some point, Cecilia had mentioned a story to him. Like, we're just like, this story is very much our story. So he buys the book. Oh, this is the Thornbirds. Yeah. And. And in reading it, he immediately has a horrible emotional reaction because he's like, there's no way this is us. Like, he takes it as an insult and just starts fucking hammering back the gin.

28:39 I burns the dinner. I'm telling you, in order to understand that reaction, you have to, at the very least, watch the miniseries. Like we will. We will do an addendum to this episode after you have watched the miniseries. I really want to know everything that comes out of your brain after you watch that mini miniseries. Okay. It explains the. So are you. So then you having that knowledge, does it explain, like, are you like. That's right, Tobias. I understand why you reacted that way. Yeah. I. Yes. Okay. Without the spoilers. She's like, I don't want to spoil it for you, but, yes, I understand. Yeah. It's a whole different dimension. So now we have homework. Skittles. But we have enough homework. We have enough homework. Thorn Birds can wait. It's okay. We've. We have.

29:27 We are. We are on a mission. I am on a mission. Okay. We have a mission. We are accomplishing that mission before October. Okay. Thornbirds. Thornbirds. Can you can mix in? Yep. Sprinkle in. Because, you know, an acquired taste for some people. It's not for everybody. I highly recommend. So then it makes sense. He has this reaction. He's cooking dinner, ruins date night, she comes home, he's plastered. Actually, it was not gin. It was, like, wine or something. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Oh, yeah. It was the la. Whatever wine. Like that. Super expensive wine, but wasted champagne wine. Yeah. And he has, like. He's stripped of, like, all dignity, basically, and he's just confessing everything to her and. And letting it all out. And I think she learns a lot from that moment about Tobias and to some extent, gets some. Actually, yes. She has some compassion for him, because after he gets put to bed because his dude's fucked up drunk blackout, she goes outside to let the dog out and sees all the firefly lights, which for her was a very important thing. Like, he. She, in that moment, recognizes just how much effort he's putting into changing and becoming a better version of himself with her, trying to accommodate the boundaries and the things that she has set for him. Yeah. He's throughout this whole time, like, 20.

30:54 I wrote it down. I think it's like 27 chapters. This dude isn't even trying to force his way into her life the way he did in the previous books. He's like, I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna respect this. We're gonna keep going. I mean, he forces his way into the house and into the bed, but he doesn't like, put his agenda on literally anything else. He's like, this is what I need. This is the only thing that I'm gonna take. I'm gonna be in your space, I'm gonna be in your bed, and that's that. Everything else is. We're going at your speed. Right, Right. And so she finally, I think, in that moment, recognizes just how much effort he's putting into it. And then that, I think, is the triggering event for what I like to refer to. And in my notes, as I can explain, it's chapter 27. Which brings us into just the tip in chapter 27.

31:43 Finally wrote that down. Because I'm going right. Meow. Yeah. Readers or listeners, if you're reading this book. Well, yes, if you're. Yes. 27 chapters I had to read before the fucking sex scene. And I'm like, I just want it so bad because I, I think the author. Spectacular job of this build up of 27 chapters of you as reader feeling that like. Like, I just want this to happen for them so bad. He's putting in so much effort. You're. You're like, any minute now it's gonna happen. 27 chapters. Finally. Oh, this is. Yes, I remember this now. She gets. Oh, I don't want to ruin what you're saying. Keep going. No, no. So it, it happens.

32:28 And here's what I want. This is my opinion of why I think this is the hottest sex scene in this trilogy. This scene. Like that's how it's like, that's how this spicy stuff starts. Is like he's down on her full blown, giving her exactly what she needs. I did think about Yuji Rex and re reading this. The whole edging. I think there is a little bit of edging there. You think? But it's different because it's not a power move. It's like, can't. Is this. Are you sure you want me to do this? Are you sure you want this to happen? Because of how strong this has always been for them. Is like this. And also, I'm going to take this a long time because who knows what the fuck's gonna happen tomorrow at this point. Yes. And so like this whole scene starts with that, she gives in. She's like. Gives him the green light. Let's do this. He starts doing it. And I love the way the author basically writes the scene and that, like, he is a starved man.

33:23 And so, like, he has this frantic moment of, like, this frenzy of, like, he just needs it, needs it, needs it. And then at some point, he realizes to Nacho's point, like, I don't know what'll happen tomorrow. And then he slows down a bit and then really starts to, like, there's a lot of tongue assaulting and jackhammering and. With the tongue and. Yeah, and lots of it. Yeah. And it slows down a bit. And then, you know, they're doing the thing. And then I think finally he lets go of himself after she says, I love you, and then it's like, oh, he's home again. And then he, you know, the scene ends. But she, the author did just such a good job of writing that out that me as a reader could feel that power dynamic between the two and that struggle and that. That chemistry.

34:12 So my question for Nacho, and just a tip. What was your thoughts? Could you feel the tension? Could you feel like that was it? Would you say your opinion. The three way on the lake versus the oral slash, I love you sex in the finish line. Do you have any opinions on which ones? I have an opinion about everything all the time. Just whether they're appropriate for this moment or not. Not my problem. Here's my not your problem. Not my problem. Okay, so the. For me, the three way on the. On the dock or whatever, it was hot, but also, like, that whole summer loving happen. So fat, right? And then this is like in finishing line was emotion. So emotion is very much attached to sex for me. And so that emotion and the pushing and the pulling and the back and the fourth and the. And the edging and the. All that kind of stuff plays into that for me. So it was like both incredibly hot scenes. Even the angry sex in the second book, there was like, I hated it, but also I loved it. Right?

35:38 Because they're so fiery when they're together. And that's just not what it was in book one. It wasn't fiery. It was sweet. And yes, there were two guys and one girl. And yes, it was naked. And yes, they were out in public or public ish. But they were outside where you can get, you know, sand in your vagina or, you know, mosquito butt or I don't know what. Like this. That didn't feel romantic to me. But. But it was sweet and it was kind, and it was, like, lovely and hot and. But these two, like, even when Sean and Dom were out of the picture and Tobias was really trying to insert himself into the daily life of Cecilia, it was still hot for me.

36:35 Right. Because the emotion that goes along with it, huge emotions, valleys and mountains of emotions. And I think that's that roller coaster for me is what really attracted me to these books. Right. Because I'm the same way. Like, wait till chapter 27. But for me, the sex started when she started setting boundaries. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That is hot. Okay, okay. Yes. Set that boundary. You. You are worthy. Do the fucking thing. Because there are things that I know I didn't do. That's why I vibed so hard with Cecilia on a number of levels.

37:25 Because when I was young, I was emotionally stupid. I'm still stupid, but, like, I know I'm worthy. I know that I deserve. Who have kindness and to have love and to have respect, and I deserve to have somebody who wants that from me, too. So that's why I was like. So the sex for me with these two in this book didn't start in 27. It started, like, when she was like, the boundaries. These are the things. Yes, this is great. But also. Right. And now she knows by 27, she knows he's a wreck.

38:14 Yeah. I. I wonder if that's why I found this scene so hot. Like, you're probably like, I'm 100% on with you on this. Because the emotional point or aspect of that sex scene was everything. Like, I was like, sign me up. Like, this is amazing. More so than the lake. I, I totally, I. I totally get you. Like, the whole lake scene for me, yeah, that was just hot, you know, summer sex. Hot young adult summer sex. But, you know, now in this, by the third book, you know, they're both a little older. I believe Tobias is a lot older than Cecilia is. And for me, that whole dynamic was.

39:01 It was a huge turn on for me because it was basically her saying, don't mistake my desire for surrender. Right? Yeah, she's still. She's still, still fucking pissed. And, yeah, I want you. We need that on a T shirt. Yes. This is not surrender. And, you know, he. She had to teach him how to deal with her as she is now while she was still trying to survive him and that whole, like, push me, pull me. So, yeah, for me, it was. It was emotionally intense for me. Okay. Not just sexually intense, but emotionally intense. No, you're 100, right? And as I feel a segueing off of the sexy scene. I want to read this piece because I was, like, ready? Do it hurt? This is at the end of chapter. At the end of chapter 27, Cecelia says, I'm certain that if God granted me only one minute of life on this earth, I would want it to be this minute, this moment with him where I know exactly why I'm alive and who for. Gazing up at the love of my life, I accept him fully back into his place in my heart, giving in the one thing I never had control over, because it's mine. I love you, I murmur. And with one last thrust, the thrusting. And I shrunk. I shrunk it because I was like, yo, this is going on for far too long. Maybe it's a gin. I said, let me shrink this. But the point is,

40:32 there was. He thrusts after he says, I love you, and he comes. But you started to tap into something drx because, okay, these two dynamic characters, there's this final sexual moment. To your point, she's saying, because we're giving into this. I'm not surrendering, right? Like, I'm still this person. He still needs to work to be a part of it. And then the relationship sort of transitions into this underlying story of what Tobias has sort of been hiding this whole time. And after, you know, she emotionally bears herself and they've had this sex, she starts to find out that he's still keeping secrets, like he. He is.