Flock by Kate Stewart, Our First Confession, Pt 1

Charlene: Before we begin, a quick heads up. This is part one of a two-part episode. We just had too many thoughts and feelings to fit it into just one recording. So settle in for the first half of our discussion. And don't worry, part two has the rest of the chaos, confessions, and spoilers. All right, let's turn the page and get started.

DirtySkittles: What starts as a small town romance quickly turns into a story about secrets, loyalty, and the kind of love that leaves scars. If this line catches you, stay tuned for a spoiler heavy episode where we join the Robin Hood and deep dive into f deep dive into flock. No more whiskey. Is that what this is? Bourbon? Scotch? Listen.

Nacho: No, whiskey. Whatever, whatever Bizzle put in it, that's what it is. It's fine.

G-Rex: No more whiskey. Are you getting hot?

DirtySkittles: I my tongue feels like it's made out of honey, which is kind of sexy, right?

Nacho: Mmm. It is so sexy, yeah. You got me going, it's fun.

DirtySkittles: Well, guys. We are your fellow Smut Masters. My name is Dirty Skittles. I am here with and Nice. And it's just listen, guys, we're not professionals here. We decided that wouldn't it be great to talk about sexy romance books because we all read them? And what better place to do it than with your messy best friends?

G-Rex: T-Rex.

Nacho: Mm-hmm.

DirtySkittles: In this kind of a weird fucked up book club. Welcome to paperback confessions.

Nacho: Yes!

G-Rex: But other thing about this, this is the feral sister to shit that goes on in our heads.

DirtySkittles: Yes, ma'am. Why? Because we read to escape.

G-Rex: Yeah, like it helps take care of that mental messiness and makes me get a little hot and bothered. You know, I'm a little irreverent, but some of the things I've been reading, I've had a little warm.

Nacho: Get your... a little irreverent? That's the whole point, Jean. You're just sloppy.

G-Rex: Yeah, well, now I know why I know why women now use a kindle to read the books. OK, you need a fucking free hand.

DirtySkittles: ⁓

Nacho: Can I just tell you when you put that in the group chat, I was like, ⁓ okay, maybe she's in the middle of something, doing something. I'm like, ⁓ you dumb ass. Okay, we're fine, we're fine. More whiskey, it's fine. I'm so slow, I'm so slow.

G-Rex: You You're a little slow, but we still love you.

DirtySkittles: Yes. So to just like catch the listeners up, this is our very first episode of this podcast. And somewhere along the brainstorming thing in the group chat, we decided, maybe it was I decided it would be fun to have a cocktail themed after maybe the spicy scenes or like the male character. And these lovely females ⁓ decided on was this whiskey? Bourbon? An old

Nacho: Mmm.

G-Rex: Yeah, yeah, smoky old, smoky old fashioned.

Nacho: It's an old fashioned.

DirtySkittles: Yes. And I am not a whiskey bourbon person. So I'ma I'm gonna get a little saucy. Anyhow, let's talk about the very first book. So in my brain, I thought, what cool way to do this then with what I call my gateway drug, my slippery slope into the romance genre, if you want to call it that. And it uh-huh, my gateway three-way book.

Nacho: No.

G-Rex: you

Nacho: Your gateway book, yeah? Yay, three way! It's getting deep already. We're three minutes in. Yaaas!

DirtySkittles: Listen, sneak peeks on what's ahead. Yeah. so this book is called Flock. It is the first installment in the Ravenhood trilogy written by Kate Stewart. I would like to say it's kind of like a dark romance, right? Like, ⁓ mean, I've I've since read some really dark shit, but I feel like your intro into romantic books

Nacho: Yeah, this was pretty like intense for a gateway. Yeah. Well, you figure the first time I read my gateway book, I was 15 years old and that was in the 90s. Right? And so I spent like 10, 15 years just doing, not even realizing anything about any of this. And I was doing like, you know, your bodice rippers. And yeah, right. So like,

DirtySkittles: Really? Okay. Mm. What ⁓ It's a bit different. Yeah.

Nacho: So different, so different, very like, um, G rated. I would put this in like a PG-13 flock, right? I would put maybe a PG-13 action. But I was like, G, PG. Yeah. Until I read the 50 Shades and I was like, what the fuck is this?

DirtySkittles: Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Nacho: And then I had a friend recommend a shifter fantasy to me. What the double fuck is this? And she says, You should read the fourth wing. I was so mad. I almost broke up with my best friend over the emotional shot put of this fucking book series and it's not complete. Where is she gonna go with it? I'm traumatized. I'm traumatized. So anyways, so that's yeah.

DirtySkittles: Yeah, no. Listen, that's a sneak. We have to do that book eventually because that is my heart. That is my I'm so excited for the show. First of all, like I I listen, that is my heart. I I goddamn. I get goosebumps. Literally get goosebumps thinking about it. Like I'm like, ⁓ god, I fucking Okay. Let's step back. So we're gonna talk about Flock, first installment in the Ravenhood trilogy, written by Kate Stewart, my gateway drug.

Nacho: We're going to. Bye!

DirtySkittles: PG 13 from our Nacho Smutmaster herself. So kind of let that guide you. ⁓ I will say I think it has like a little bit of enemies to lovers. There's multiple men attracted. ⁓ yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. There's multiple men attracted to one woman. So it's written in the first person point of view. ⁓ I want to set the scene for you guys.

Nacho: ⁓ yes, yes. ⁓ that was the whiskey.

G-Rex: Yeah, you're right.

Nacho: Mm. I love that you put that out, that first person point of view, and that it's only from her perspective.

DirtySkittles: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. So is she the unreliable narrator? Have you ever thought about that? Cause we're only seeing the world through her eyes and what what happens, like her interpretation of the events. Just saying, she's a little bit flawed.

G-Rex: Mm-hmm.

Nacho: But she's...ugh. Yeah. Flaut is generous and kind. That was very nice. She's a big whiny baby. Go ahead, I'm sorry.

DirtySkittles: Ha ha ha. Yes. So we are right. Well, listen, we I have some thoughts. I have some thoughts. Let's let's set the scene, right? We're we're seeing a town called Triple Falls. I describe it based on what we're reading in this book as a small picturesque town rich in nature. ⁓ Cecilia's returning home, I guess, sort of. She's going to live with her dad. ⁓

Nacho: Tell me, tell me, tell me! I wanna know your thoughts. I'm sharing one.

G-Rex: Yeah, I have thoughts.

DirtySkittles: I I thought it was just for a summer, but when I reread the book, she had plans to be there for a whole year. Which makes me wonder, how long did this take? Right. So she's she's coming home.

Nacho: a year. That was the deal with dad. So the first book is just the first summer.

DirtySkittles: Right, right. So think about that. Okay, so so she's coming home to her dad's home. He is like this Fortune 500, like super rich dude. His name is Roman Horner. Her name is Cecilia Horner. I probably should have said that earlier. ⁓ but her dad is Roman Horner. He is this super rich guy. His company that he owns, for some reason, ⁓ employs like half the town, right? Like everybody knows the dad, everybody knows the business. Now the dad is what I describe as cold, emotionally distant, conservative, and rich. He is accused of running a sweatshop, exploiting his workers, and shortening his employees' paycheck and also a possible death cover up.

Nacho: Mm. Mm-hmm.

DirtySkittles: Mm. I

Nacho: going full, full, how do I turn this light off? The middle one? I can't.

DirtySkittles: She's like, We're in it. We're drinking the fucking drink. We're lowering the lights.

Nacho: Okay, I found. Okay. I forgot that we're going full spoilers on this motherfucker. ⁓

DirtySkittles: ⁓ yeah, we're going full spoilers. I said I said spoiler heavy. 'Cause like I don't wanna beat around I don't wanna like tiptoe about like, no, I'm going in.

Nacho: Yeah, no, it's here. And we've given you, if you give plenty of opportunity for people to read a book that you're gonna just, just blanket statement. Don't show up if you don't want to spoilers.

DirtySkittles: Yeah, guys, it's just gonna, it's gonna be, it's gonna be deep. So, ⁓ he's accused of also possibly covering up a wrongful death. Kind of put that, like dog ear that page, if you will. Just kind of keep that in the back of your mind. So we've described the dad. He's strict, rich, yada, yada. Cecilia's mother is like the opposite. She's very like free spirit with like Toxic love traits. She's got a lot of vices. ⁓ she's sort of absent, really. Like it seems like Cecilia is taking care of her mom. And that's why Cecilia's in Triple Falls, because her plan is to stay there so that she can inherit the money and stocks in the business and give it all to her mother. The dad wants the mom to not have any money at all. So Cecilia's kind of doing this like undercover.

Nacho: I feel like Cecilia infers that.

DirtySkittles: Mm-hmm.

Nacho: that dad doesn't want mom to have the money. And I'm not sure why I sit there, but I feel like she infers that. I don't remember him saying, do you remember him saying, I don't want her to have the money?

DirtySkittles: Right. No, it's that's what I'm saying. It's first person point of view. She could be compl like this is her perspective on everything. But there are moments in the book where it seems like the dad still has like this soft spot for the mom, at least. But maybe we're jumping ahead.

Nacho: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's fine. It's our podcast.

G-Rex: I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll tell you now, it's Romanism dick. Okay.

DirtySkittles: Roman is a bit dickish. I think that's a fair statement. ⁓ I I do think it's funny, and I don't know if y'all noticed, when we start to kind of hear about Cecilia's mom, have you ever noticed that she never ⁓ names her mother? Her mother is not named She's so, yes. Her name is so insignificant to Cecilia in this story, but Cecilia knows her mother's boyfriend's name. So we know. ⁓

Nacho: Yeah. Really?

DirtySkittles: Cecilia is leaving to go live with her dad. Her mom has just moved in with her boyfriend named Timothy. She like names the mom's boyfriend, but She never is named.

Nacho: Well, okay, so maybe she just refers to her as as mom because she doesn't refer to her as anything else, but she refers to dad as sir and which is a Whole other layer of fuckery right there, but you know, whatever ⁓ but Roman or sir and Like it would seem to me that mom is the only person that like she Feels as her family

DirtySkittles: Roman. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean she she has some sense of loyalty because she wants to take care of her. She just wants to get this money and give it to her mom. But and I agree, right? Like it would be weird, I suppose, to say my mother's name instead of my mom. But like other people talking about her also call her Cecilia's mother or like your mother. Like nobody gives her a name.

Nacho: and You, your brain is hot. Dude, her brain? Yes!

G-Rex: Her brain scares me, but in all the great ways.

DirtySkittles: You listen, my job is to like, I want to deep dive and set the stage, but like poke the holes. Cause I find that to be significant, right? Here's why, here's why. No, no, no. No. I think ⁓ part of me believes it to be intentional that the author is intentionally writing it this way. And kudos to Kate Stewart because there's a part.

Nacho: I wanna, I'm here for... But with no disrespect to the author, right? Never disrespect to the author, right?

G-Rex: Mm-mm.

DirtySkittles: Before we end this recording, that I have to say it because it's literally my favorite part of how she wrote these series. But ⁓ I think it's intentional. I think you hear about the dad and how he's portrayed, you hear about the mom and how she's portrayed, but then when you start to kind of dive into Cecilia and who is Cecilia, right? Like we know the dad's rich, blah, blah, blah, mom's kind of whatever, but like who is our main character? And I'll open it up for you guys to. To give your point of view of like how would you describe Cecilia? How does she describe herself in this book? Any thoughts?

G-Rex: Yeah, she's kind of like a wallflower. Very naive, like, extreme. Yeah, very, like, naive. There are parts of that book, I just want to, like, walk into the story and just shake the shit out of her and be like, wake the fuck up, bitch. But, she's very, like, not well, she's 19, so she's not well versed in, like, love and relationships and, and things like that.

Nacho: Self described. Yeah. She's 19.

G-Rex: But some of the shit she does, I'm like, I was reading it and I was like, fuck, was that me? Because, well, because before I start, before becoming out as a lesbian, I did do men. And like, I was a little promiscuous. And I was like, was I this way? And it just kind of like brought back some like weird memories. I'm just going to tell you, since I've been reading the books, I've had some really fucked up dreams. But.

Nacho: And Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! Ha ha.

G-Rex: And my hands a little sore. ⁓ I...

Nacho: You need to get you some more batteries, boo boo.

DirtySkittles: Huh.

G-Rex: They plug in, we don't need batteries. ⁓ But I was just gonna say, like...

Nacho: Well, we need to get you a longer cord then.

DirtySkittles: Yeah, an extension for sure.

G-Rex: My own generator. ⁓

DirtySkittles: When the power goes out in the neighborhood, we know why.

G-Rex: But that's my take on her. She's like super naive and there's glimpses of me back in the day like 40 plus years ago. But like wow, I'm just like...

Nacho: How stupid was I?

G-Rex: How stupid was I? Yeah.

Nacho: Yeah.

DirtySkittles: I never thought about it like that. What about you, ⁓ Nacho?

Nacho: I see a lot of some of the games that when... They're not games when you're living through them, but they're like on the other side of 40, they're games. Right? I look back and I see some of the things that she does in this book, in myself. And I think that's... I'm hoping that's intentional, like those are pretty like universal feelings and experiences for people of that age. It's just a lot.

DirtySkittles: Ha ha.

Nacho: I struggled through parts of it because I was like, I cannot with this poor baby angel who's just trying to live her life and do something different than what she's already doing. And I vibe with that whole area too, right? Like, you know, when you're trying to make a change in your life, what do you do? You kind of veer off into, you know, no man's land and go hog wild sometimes. But I vibe with that as well, you know? So.

G-Rex: Tasha!

Nacho: I don't know, there's just a lot of like mirroring. And I think that's why I got so frustrated with it. Like, ⁓ my God, how stupid was I? Maybe you want to go back and like apologize to people that I never thought I would ever apologize to.

G-Rex: And like I think in some of the in some of it I think back to like what dirty skills was like it back in the day Because we've talked about this in the past right like how you had a really wild late teens early 20s. I'm like Hmm, so it made me think a little bit more than I wanted to but ⁓ Yeah, Cecilia. I just more than I expected. I just want to go back and shake her and be like wake the fuck up bitch ⁓

Nacho: More than you expected to, I feel like.

G-Rex: You're being played.

DirtySkittles: Yeah. I you guys are actually challenging my thoughts because I suppose I never ⁓ saw myself in Cecilia per I saw her well, parts of her, parts of her I could see. But ⁓ I ⁓ thought of her let actually, you know what? These lines is what I think hooked me to her as a character.

Nacho: Mm-hmm.

DirtySkittles: And I have to read it because it's kind of fucked up. And it's literally on the back of the book. And it's how the story starts. She says, I grew up sick. Let me clarify. I grew up believing that real love stories include a martyr and demand great sacrifice to be worthy. Because of that, I believed it because I made myself believe it. And I bred the most masochistic of romantic hearts, which resulted in my illness. And I was like, I get it. I get it. Like I was like, that part.

Nacho: Okay, do it. Yeah.

DirtySkittles: I could associate to where, you know, I grew up thinking like love is like this grand thing and it's it's meant to have a struggle and like it's like this super romantic struggle, right? So

Nacho: Yes! So, but then you're like, how much of that is your own doing? Because you think that that's what it's supposed to be. So you create these scenarios in your heart and in your head where you're just like, yeah, sorry, I interrupted there again, but.

DirtySkittles: Right, right, right. Right. Right. Right. No, like that was the part that I could ⁓ relate to as the story went on. I could even relate to like her little wild side, right? Like she was like, I'm gonna explore myself sexually and I'm gonna figure out what this means and like I'm gonna say yes to this and yes to that. I was like, girl, get it. But I was not a fan of the parts of her that didn't stick up for herself.

Nacho: Okay.

DirtySkittles: I could not relate to that. Like to me, me, young, ⁓ dirty Skittles, eighteen, nineteen, early twenties, I would not ⁓ have let that go on soon enough.

Nacho: You feel like she didn't stick up for herself enough. Soon enough. Like where would you have seen her? So for me, when she started sticking up was when ⁓ she was waiting for Sean to step in between like Dom giving her a rash of shit all the fucking time. Right? So I see her being like, no, you need to be handling this. This is your dude. Like, what are you doing instead of like stepping up? So I was like fully in Sean's court with like

DirtySkittles: Ha ha.

G-Rex: Yeah.

Nacho: No, you have to handle your own shit, man. I can't be there all the time doing all the things and you have to learn how to deal with these people. So where do you sit on that she should have started earlier?

DirtySkittles: one scene sticks out to me and I'll I'll tell you, and then I think we should introduce the the men that we're talking about because it fits this scene fits the type of person he is, right? So, like on one hand, we're talking about the f her first ⁓ male encounter, if you will, like the first main lead male. His name is Sean, right? I think his full name, I wrote it down because I was like, What? is Alfred Sean Roberts. I'm happy we go by just Sean.

Nacho: Tell me.

G-Rex: Yes.

Nacho: in the book. Yup. Alfred Sean.

DirtySkittles: Right? Like Sean is a bit sexier than Alfred in this book, anyways. I could Yeah. Mm-hmm. Fair, fair. That's why I like, in this book, I'm happy we went with Sean. ⁓ but Sean is like this granola eaten motherfucker, is how I describe him. I'm I don't hate Sean. Okay, let's I realize that sounded like I had a lot of disdain there, but he's very like we've lost U Rex.

Nacho: Right. I don't know, depends on where you land on Batman series, like, come on, man. Hahaha! a type.

DirtySkittles: He's very like, I want to be out in nature. I'm gonna eat my granola. I'm gonna just doesn't believe. Right. Don't ask me what time it is. It's now. It'll be later. That whole shit. So for me, I think she should have stuck up sooner. And maybe because I didn't vibe with that when he was like, You can't have your phone around me. I don't want you to have your phone. You need to leave it locked in your fucking glove box in the car. Like, don't have it around me at all.

Nacho: Only be in this moment, never give a shit about anything. Yeah. And she just sort of like glazes over that too. And then when people question her, yeah, yes.

DirtySkittles: A hundred percent. I was like, who the fuck is this guy? He like took her watch and like smashes it, right? Like he's like, you cannot have any. And I thought, I was like, fuck this guy. I if that was me, I would have said, yo, you want a piece of this? You need to compromise and respect my boundaries. Like she just didn't have boundaries, in my opinion. And that's what

Nacho: Yeah, you better be ready to fight. Right. There would have been no date, too.

G-Rex: Yeah, zero.

DirtySkittles: drove me crazy, even though she was to some degree, I think, wanting. But what was she wanting, I suppose? Was she wanting to spend time with this guy? Or was she wanting love and just willing to compromise everything to get it?

Nacho: feel like at that point she was just wanting attention. She was just trying to get out of her own wallflower stage because it was so early in the book still.

DirtySkittles: Mm-hmm. Mm.

G-Rex: Yeah, and like remember where she was living. She was living with her dad in this fucking huge ass mansion all by herself, away from her friends and the family that she'd known. So isolated and she needed her freedom. But like when he did those two things, I was like, God, you're a fucking dick. And like, get some, like a super red flag and like...

DirtySkittles: Isolated. Yeah. Right? Red flag.

Nacho: So, so, flag, okay, no, I wanna hear red flag. I wanna go over red flag. So when you hear red, when you say red flag about this, what makes it a red flag? Because I think lots of people say red flag, green flag, like without, I don't know. Question it.

G-Rex: Alright.

DirtySkittles: Do we wanna dive into Sean?

G-Rex: Yeah.

DirtySkittles: ⁓ The his his ⁓ how do I word this? He doesn't give her a choice. You will do this to be with me, right? Like he's setting his boundary, but almost to a very controlling, manipulative way.

G-Rex: Yes.

Nacho: So what if she says, ⁓ listen dude, you can't do that.

DirtySkittles: Mm-hmm.

Nacho: And this is my boundary. Isn't she then controlling him? You-

DirtySkittles: I think there's a compromise that has to be made. Yeah.

G-Rex: There's a compromise because for her, she didn't stand up for herself. And I found Sean to be very possessive and be kind of a dick about it. Like if he'd smashed my watch, dude, you're going to be singing like 17 octaves higher than you used to.

Nacho: Sure.

DirtySkittles: She also starts sneaking around her phone. Like it's it's a small little scene where she's like sneaking. ⁓ let me hurry up and like call somebody or text somebody before he's here and then I'll go and hide it. Yeah. So like that is the red flag of it all. Is like, I understand that I would acknowledge that that's probably, you know what I mean? But if you're gonna sneak around to do something so that you don't upset him, that's the red flag. Is like, why are you doing that?

G-Rex: Yes.

Nacho: ⁓ her bestie-westie. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Clearly then she doesn't, so clearly then she doesn't agree that this is an okay thing, but in order to spend this time, she's willing to give this concession. I like it. I agree. I agree with the whole red flag thing, but I've been trying to like challenge myself on like, okay, you said the thing now, why? And I just wanted your perspective.

DirtySkittles: ⁓ but let's dive into Sean. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. But and I do Mm-hmm. Yeah. And and it's it's crazy because I don't hate this sounds very much like I hate this guy, ⁓ I don't. Like when I started to like dive into who is he to her, I love how he empowers her to be unapologetically her sexual self. Right. Like he is very like, and I guess it's probably even more past like the sex part is like, He wants her to know that she can defend herself, that she doesn't need a man to defend her, right? Like you can do these things. Like you're capable of it. You're beautiful. You're like he's very much like words of affirmation, like tells her all the time how much he loved like loves her at one point, but like just what she means to him. Like he's super vocal. What I did is I know. I have to say this because it bot it actually bothered me. ⁓ she meets Sean at ⁓ orientation, right? So she's going to work at her dad's company. She's gotta go to orientation. And she's w in my brain I couldn't get past. Like I'm like, yo, you're going to orientation at your dad's company and you're wearing a tight little sundress. He sat behind her, he was looking, he was like, Hey,

G-Rex: give two right? She knew she was doing it for a mission. She needed the money. She's going to suck this up for a fucking year. And she gave zero fucks. ⁓ I'm telling you, there glimpses of me back to that age. I gave zero fucking fucks. I give even more zero fucks now, but I gave zero fucks. Like a fuck is a fuck, you know?

DirtySkittles: Fair, fair.

Nacho: Mm.

DirtySkittles: Mm. Yeah. Wow.

Nacho: I like that. So profound. I fucking love you so much, G.

DirtySkittles: yeah, what did you guys think of Sean? How would you describe Sean? Was he your fave? Were you immediately swooned? 'Cause

G-Rex: No, he was too possessive, way too possessive for me.

Nacho: Don't. Yeah, he was a bit controlling. Like, controlling about... I mean, he always had a reason why. But it wasn't his... it was... Yeah, but why... like, why do you need me to not have my phone?

DirtySkittles: Dude, ⁓

Nacho: Like, do you, are you like, like the conversation about big brother, right? The conversation that they literally had, like how big brother are you?

DirtySkittles: ⁓ my God, his whole reefer madness fucking I was cringe, cringe. I couldn't even yo, he's super like

Nacho: Re- ⁓ The marijuana cigarettes!

DirtySkittles: This fucking guy. Okay, I do love Sean though. I do. Let me just make it it. Sounds like I don't. It's yeah. Like my words to describe him were golden retriever, because I thought he had golden retriever energy. Granola. Anarchy meets charm. And I described him as Cecilia's fire. So like he made her feel alive. And I think that was the draw for her was like, who's this guy? He's challenging my thoughts. He's making me feel like I'm all of these things. ⁓

Nacho: So true. Mmm. Yeah.

DirtySkittles: So I do I do love that about him, but cringe. He made me cringe at certain parts of the book because I just couldn't get with his vibe of like time is a construct.

Nacho: Yeah, I think like halfway through the book though it changed for me because then I was like I had been probably like just moved on from that whole like taking out my phone because then she just sort of normalizes it she doesn't even bring it with her anymore and she doesn't even like acknowledge it or think about it anymore so I guess I just sort of like put it out of my out of my head and then there's fuck off

DirtySkittles: Mm-hmm. Mm. Was it the waterfall? Was that when it w happened would you say?

G-Rex: So I have like...

Nacho: I mean, maybe?

DirtySkittles: Can we get the smutmaster to tell us about the first spicy scene at the waterfall?

Nacho: No, no, not even a little bit. No, that's fucking crazy. That was like

DirtySkittles: When they go for a hike, it's their first like intimate moment. Okay, you wanna okay. I I was just getting excited. It's the scotch or whiskey or bourbon or whatever the fuck I'm drinking.

Nacho: Yeah, but we haven't... It looks like I'm excited. I'm here for it. So,

G-Rex: to say is that whole scene is like how possessive, ⁓ behind the when they're like, ⁓ after he the watch, they go behind the waterfall and how controlling he was even for her orgasm, all right? Because that was like the first section.

DirtySkittles: ⁓

Nacho: Which one?

DirtySkittles: After he smashes her w her fucking watch. Yeah.

Nacho: Hmm.

DirtySkittles: You know what? Good catch. I didn't I agree.

G-Rex: I'm like edging her and edging her and edging her. I'm like, dude, that's not fucking nice, okay? Women have a really fucking hard time. This is why my hand hurts. I'm like, motherfucker.

DirtySkittles: This is why your hand hurts. Took far too long. ⁓ my god, I didn't even think about that. That's that lines up, dude, because that yeah, that is Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's Sean. ⁓ I do love Sean, but the second male character.

Nacho: Hahaha Yeah, it's like all the way through there. And it just happens in a more subtle way. It's like stupid. I get more frustrated with her with Dom.

G-Rex: Yeah.

Nacho: because it's like she...

DirtySkittles: Aw Tell me more.

Nacho: There was no buildup. She was just like, God damn it. He's hot. want to put, you know, right.

DirtySkittles: I mean, I'm a sucker for dark hair and light eyes. I would have been the same. I would've been the same.

Nacho: Yes, yes. However, it was just like... I don't know, sometimes it's like no self-respect, right? Because you just want these people that don't. Yeah. All the time. All the time. And then all of sudden he flips a fucking switch and they're on a raft?

DirtySkittles: ⁓ yeah, she was feral in that moment. She sees him, she's like, Let's do it. Mm.

G-Rex: Yeah

DirtySkittles: Okay, okay, okay. Let's let's

Nacho: Like it's like it's like one day one day it's there and then the next day

DirtySkittles: Let's let's dive into it. Cause I do think, ⁓ I hate to sound cliche, but I think as feral as she was at the first time she saw him, he was the same for her. I do think that it was an immediate attraction on both sides. I think he just hated that it was with her because, you know, I don't know if we want to spoil it now of why that's the problem, but

Nacho: Do it. Do it.

DirtySkittles: Let's let's back up. So she she's with granola guy literally after ⁓ fucking the orientation immediately says yes to Sean. Sean takes her to his friend's party or friend's house or whatever the fuck it was. And she's now hanging out with a complete stranger. ⁓ he's also 25. He's 25. I don't know. He's mature. He's more mature than she than she is at like what, 18, 19? I mean

G-Rex: Thank

Nacho: Right. Excuse me. Yeah, they're like 25, 26 years old. However mature you can be at 25, 26 years old. Right.

DirtySkittles: He's got some special thoughts on life. So he takes her to the party. She's there. She's having a cider and gets fucking lit off of ciders, which I find although to be fair, for me it was like smirn off ices. So

G-Rex: That's no worse than you and your hazlet fucking grape juice wine, okay? Whatever it is, white cat.

Nacho: Well, yeah.

DirtySkittles: White cat. White cat if you're hearing, we'll take a sponsorship. Anyhow, ⁓ she goes to a party, she's drinking hard ciders, they're flirting. The sexual tension between Sean and Cecilia is immediate, right? Like there's no they don't die, like they don't tiptoe into like their attraction for one another immediately off the jump. They're attracted to each other. He's trying, I think, to be like a gentleman and let her decide when that will happen. ⁓ like when the first kiss, when sex, all that. But

Nacho: you

DirtySkittles: They're they're flirting with it. They're teasing each other. And then enters in actually hold on. tells her something in that first barbecue, like, we don't want the wolf to get a whiff. ⁓ not about Dominic, but I thought that that was interesting. ⁓

Nacho: Mm-hmm. Yeah, but you just think that that's where it's at though, at that point. You're just like, it's all about the two of them, Sean and Dom, because they're, as far as you know, they're the boss.

DirtySkittles: Exactly. Cause she uh-huh. And she associates when she sees Dominic for the first time, besides being swooned, she says, This must be the wolf. She immediately associates Dominic, yes, the Frenchman. Exactly, exactly. ⁓ yeah, Dominic, if you're into it, has like a French accent. So just like tall, dark hair, light eyes, built, calls him the Frenchman, thinks he's the wolf. And Dominic, I have described as black cat energy.

Nacho: Yeah, and the Frenchman. Look at G's face!

DirtySkittles: So you got Sean the golden retriever, Dominic is the black hat energy. He's immediately like, Who the fuck's this bitch? Like hit the look on his face says like, Who's who's this? Why is she here? She shouldn't be here. And he continues to sort of try to address that. I do too. Sean did.

Nacho: I think he knows who she is. At that point, I think he knows who she is.

DirtySkittles: 'Cause she introeded herself at the orientation. I'm the owner's daughter. So Sean maybe he's like shot a text, who knows? But they knew who she was.

Nacho: No, I'm convinced that they knew who, what, where, when, when, because I'm halfway through the second book, or third of way through the second book, and I'm here for it. I'm still conspiracy theory on this one. They're all setting her up.

G-Rex: Yes.

DirtySkittles: it's so hard because I know exactly what's gonna happen. Yeah. So so Dominic is there, he sees her, they don't get along. ⁓ he tries to get her to leave the party. She says like one of the dumbest fucking comeback lines ever, which is like, Don't be a pooper. I don't know why that was her choice of words, other than the cider had probably gotten to her at that point. But to your point.

Nacho: Anyways, keep going. Sorry, more whiskey candy, more whiskey. I mean, nacho.

DirtySkittles: They hate each other from the get from the trump. She'd fuck him, but she just thinks he hates her. I think.

Nacho: Yeah, because I think he re- I think he actually does. I think he actually does have some real fucked up feelings about it.

G-Rex: Cause he's kind of a dick.

DirtySkittles: I You think like daughter of this fucking evil son of a bitch, immediately I hate her.

Nacho: I think it's more about like, why do you have Sean's attention? Because I'm not really interested, right? I don't think there's a relationship, a sexual relationship between Dom and Sean, but I do think that there's a brotherhood that goes a little bit, could go a little bit deeper than, I mean, to be in that situation where there's three of you, there has to be some...

G-Rex: Yeah.

DirtySkittles: Yeah. Crossover.

Nacho: I would imagine generally that there's some... strong relationship dynamic there, right?

G-Rex: I kind of felt like Dom was like the puppet master, right? Like he is the one who's like controlling the strings of who does what, when, why, where, how. But I'm all in now, right? Because once he gets introduced into the whole like I'm like, once again, going back to, you know, my younger years. Yeah.

Nacho: Mmm.

G-Rex: I did some of that fucked up shit. But like, here's the problem, right? Like, nobody taught us. Did you all get taught about like, how to attract men, how to be around men? No. Like, go into the f- Go- Yeah, go into the fucking world and like, find the thing that makes you happy, so.

Nacho: We were taught, we were just, we were taught we were just groomed.

DirtySkittles: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. love Dom. Immediately I love Dom because he's an asshole. And I can relate I could relate more to Dom than I could to Cecilia. So I immediately was like attracted to Dominic. ⁓ thought, yeah, fuck this little bitch. Why is she at my party? Would I fuck her? Yes. Should I? ⁓ She she needs to leave because temptation is only going Like I can only fight that for so long. And I think I I do think Dominic is soft hearted. Like I think he has like a really hard shell, but he loves too hard. So I think for him there's not like with her, it couldn't ever be casual. And I think that just adds like That tension. But maybe this is just me projecting. Yeah, yeah.

Nacho: Why not? I feel like this is going to be the beauty of these conversations is that we're all coming in from three different points of view, three different human experiences, and who knows what the author was putting it out there, their whole life out there. Why not? Don't be sheepish about it. This is what I feel.

DirtySkittles: And Yeah. So they don't get along off the jump. they see each other here and there. Cecilia's sort of full blown like Sean is my man, I want to be his girlfriend, I want us to be officially in a romance. But she sees Dom naked. She's she's in his bed nonetheless. Raging boner. Raging boner. So I mean that makes it difficult, I suppose, to

Nacho: But I'm hot for Dom. And I can't tell anyone in his bed.

G-Rex: In his badges.

Nacho: Okay.

DirtySkittles: keep herself ⁓ as a one man woman. Listen, he knew what he was doing. ⁓ I think he like I think he loved it. He was like, This is the moment I've been waiting for.

Nacho: Yeah, she knew what she was doing. Yep. Pony starts, Pony by Jenny Wine starts playing in the background. ⁓

G-Rex: I just, seriously think all three of them need f- All three of them need some fucking therapy. That's all.

DirtySkittles: Yeah.

Nacho: I think I need therapy, but you know, it's fine.

DirtySkittles: I mean, what would you do? What would you do? You just have sex with Tron. You've got a she had a migraine. R

Nacho: I would lick my fill and then keep going. Go back to Sean, right? Like this guy's an asshole. He's got a nice dick, but he's an asshole and I'm not really into an asshole. Personally, I like a relationship to go with my sex. Usually. So, you know, I'm gonna, that's what I'm doing. I'm gonna be like, and then go back to where my business is.

DirtySkittles: I know. Mm-hmm. Would you have said anything when he catches you looking? Cause Dom catches Cecilia staring at him and his dick.

G-Rex: Yeah.

Nacho: I went a big cheesy ass grin and I'm like, ⁓ huh. And then just kept moving.

G-Rex: you

DirtySkittles: I would've been like, What's his name? And then left.

Nacho: right right donkey kong I can't drink my whiskey because I'm gonna laugh and spit it all out.

DirtySkittles: I do think this is the opportunity for another red flag though, in my opinion, because what does she do after she sees Dom naked and he catches her staring at him? She goes and gives Sean a guilty blowjob because she felt bad that she liked what she saw.

Nacho: Mmm. Yeah, again, this is just, I think, a part of being young and not being... and not knowing your own self-worth.

DirtySkittles: Mm.

G-Rex: Yeah, 100%. Like, to me, Dominic is kind of a dick, but he's also kind of super, he's super hot. Right? It just, it's that push me, pull me kind of thing, and I'm like...

DirtySkittles: ⁓ he's such a dick. He's so fucking funny.

Nacho: Mm.

G-Rex: Like, you know you want it, but you know in your head, it's like, this is not, no. This is gonna end badly.

DirtySkittles: Dude, my favorite Dominic and Cecilia scene is that like the next morning after she saw him naked, where he walks into the kitchen and she's cooking, and he's such an asshole. He is such an asshole to her. And like grabs her hand at one point, puts it on his dick, and like I forget what he says to her, but he at some point lets go and she doesn't. She's like, Is that why you're still touching my dick? Like it was, dude, he's such an asshole. I loved it.

Nacho: Yeah! Mm-hmm. Yes. And then he throws her under the bus to Sean and just be like, your old lady was just giving my dick a nice rub, And you're just like, she's just standing there like, ooooh. ⁓

DirtySkittles: Yeah. Yes.

G-Rex: you

DirtySkittles: ⁓ I

G-Rex: And like, the dynamic between Sean and Dominic is like, yeah, well, whatever. You know what? Because, like, guys are dicks. They really are. Yeah.

DirtySkittles: They've also shared before. Like we knew history or historically they've shared girls before. So she knows that too. I which is why I think like she's battling with do I want to be that girl that they share? You know? But I fucking love Dom.

Nacho: Mm-hmm. Yeah. think she wants to do it. I think she's just concerned about what will people think. I think that's what it is that holds her back. What will all these people think? What will they, what names will they call me?

DirtySkittles: Mm.

G-Rex: And the thing for me is like, she has zero fucking morals. And zero integrity. Zero.

DirtySkittles: ⁓ yeah. I could I mean

G-Rex: She went into it like eyes wide open, not really thinking about the consequences because she just wanted to get her rocks off. Listen, at 19 we all did, okay? Like our hormones are fucking raging.

DirtySkittles: Yeah. Yeah. I think

G-Rex: Not that I can- not that I can don't- that I can tone the behavior, because I don't, but fuck. Like, you know.

Nacho: I'm sorry. You don't condone adult humans getting their rocks off in a safe, insane manner.

G-Rex: Well, I do, but not in such a fucked up... in a safe and sane manner, but not in such a fucked up manner. Like, we got granola head, and I'm a giant dick. So... with a giant dick.

DirtySkittles: With a giant dick.

Nacho: Mmm.

DirtySkittles: Love Dom. I love Dom. for the listeners, eventually to Nacho's point, where it seems like they go from hating each other now banging on a raft. Raft float. I don't know. I don't know the schematics of it all. But I think there was ⁓ slow burn, this slow buildup where he he wanted her ⁓ early on, but his love language is violence. ⁓ like ⁓

Nacho: you Okay. Yeah.

DirtySkittles: He even says it at one point where he's like, Be careful, violence makes me hard. Like I think this is just Dom. Like he is just a raging asshole. He's like, ⁓ you wanna hit me? I'm hard. Yes, yes.

Nacho: Yeah! He wants to fight for it. And as long as this partner understands that and is consenting, fight it out! Duke it out!

DirtySkittles: Uh-huh. And I think this is the moment when she finally, I guess, takes a stance and is a dick back in like such a grand way. Like where she like blows up and like smashes the carrot cake in Dom's face and like then slaps it into Sean's face. Like that whole thing, I think it turned him on. I think he was like, Fuck, this is the one for me. Like he was like immediately smitten. And so I think the after that scene when they

Nacho: ⁓ yeah. Yes. Yes.

DirtySkittles: Finally are all three together again is at that lake.

Nacho: ⁓